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Infertility, One Year Later : An Open Letter to Our Friends

It’s been a year since we started seeing the reproductive endocrinologist for infertility treatments. As everyone is well aware, these treatments weren’t successful.

I felt the urge to post this because infertility is an incredibly lonely, isolated place to be and I think that many women out there need to realize they aren’t alone in this struggle. Many women have gone through substantially more needles, medications, and procedures than we have but this is an amazing visual that I’ve been meaning to shoot for a while.

(Read Also: Infertility: When Babies Are Everywhere)

Infertility causes a lot of tears. It truly is the most strange thing I’ve ever felt in my entire life.

I never realized that I could be so incredibly happy and so incredibly sad all at the same time.

I’ve really been struggling recently because the pregnancies that occurred around the time of our fertility treatments have created these beautiful, amazing babies and we’re still without.

I’ve had many people tell us that we just haven’t tried long enough– Well here’s your proof. We’ve been trying for an entire year including months of fertility treatments and still nothing. This is beyond the simple medical definition of infertility.

(Read Also: Infertility Etiquette & Comebacks)

Infertility

“God will provide you with a child if you just wait.” I wholeheartedly believe that God doesn’t give us these medical advances so we can sit at home and just pray to get pregnant. Prayer is great- but I believe that God calls us to be proactive.

In the last few months, we have quit actively trying to conceive and it has brought some level of relief to us. However, there is still a substantial amount of pain that surfaces daily as the reminders of everyone else’s reproductive abilities is flashed across our lives.

(Read Also: We’re Quitting)

If you aren’t infertile, you wouldn’t have noticed that during that commercial break, there were four commercials referencing pregnancy, newborns, and moms– all trigger points.

If you aren’t infertile, you wouldn’t have noticed the five pregnant women at Target today- one of which that was smoking out in front of the building.

If you aren’t infertile, you wouldn’t realize how much time has passed since an infertile couple has started trying.

(Read Also:Saving on Infertility Prescriptions)

September is a really hard month for me this year. Even with medical intervention, my body isn’t doing what it was made to do.

It is really hard to look at the babies that were conceived after we started infertility treatments because all I can think is “That should be us too….”

When I’m home by myself while Brandon is working, I am reminded that I shouldn’t be alone.

When I’m working and someone comes in glowing, looking for flowy tops to hide their newly discovered pregnancy, I’m reminded that should be me.

When there are events in town that are centered around children, I’m reminded that we have no children to bring, and thus no excuse to go to this fun child-centered event.

When there are specials for kids meals at restaurants, I’m reminded that I have no children to bring with me.

(Read Also: PCOS Friendly 30 Day Meal Plan)

When the circus is giving away a child ticket with every adult ticket, you realize what a waste it is to purchase an adult ticket because the child is included in the price.

When I look in my rear view mirror, I am reminded that I should have a little mini version of Brandon and me in the back seat and I am reminded of how much I would love to have the “inconvenience” of toting a baby in and out of the car into the store.

When you post about how your childless friends don’t understand how hard it is to be a parent, I’m reminded that you don’t understand how hard it is to want to be a parent and not be one.

When life happens, I realize I want to be inconvenienced, busy, exhausted but all I get is a bunch of used needles and some old used-to-be-sterile water sealed up in a mason jar in my kitchen.

 

 

If you were touched by this post please consider sharing this on Facebook to support those who may be struggling silently.

Network Connection Troubleshooting

Have you ever tried connecting to your home network via WiFi, and ran into something similar to the message below?

limited_connectivity

Surprisingly, there are a few steps that can be taken to resolve issues like this about 90% of the time when they arise, yet these very same steps are often overlooked or dismissed as possible solutions. One of the best features of these steps is that they are completely free to execute yourself, so under most circumstances you wouldn’t need to worry about paying a service such as Geek Squad to basically perform these same steps, or a variation of them, for you. The steps I am about to walk you through also require little to no knowledge of computers, so that’s a nice perk as well.

To start, we are going to open a commend line as an administrator. You may or may not be familiar with this application, and if you’re not then all you really need to know about it is that it essentially allows you to “talk” to applications on your computer in a language that they understand. If you are on a Windows machine, you can follow the steps below:

1. Navigate to the search bar at the bottom of the Windows task bar (Windows 8 and 10), or just click the Start button on the task bar, and the search box will be right above the Start button (Windows 7). Either way, you will want to type in “cmd” without the quotes, and you should see the command line pop up in a list similar to this:

2. With this box still opened, press the [CTRL] + [SHIFT] + [ENTER] buttons all together on your keyboard. After pressing these keys together, you will see a box pop up that looks similar to the one below. You will want to hit the Yes button to continue:

3. You will see a command line window open that looks like the one below:

In this window, we are going to reset something called the TCP/IP stack, which is also known as the Internet Protocol suite. Now I don’t claim to be an all knowing expert on computer networking, but the best way I can describe TCP/IP without getting very technical would be to call it a tool set that your computer utilizes to communicate with other computers (servers) around the world. This tool set is what allows your computer to access the internet, and when it does not work properly, you run into issues like the one I have demonstrated at the beginning of this post.

To start, we are going to issue the following command in the command line, without the quotes:

“netsh int ip reset”, and then hit [ENTER]

As long as you see the “Resetting, OK!” message, follow the instruction to restart your PC.

At this point, you will want to follow the instruction to restart your PC. After restarting, you should be able to connect to your desired network as you normally would.

If you are still running into a “Limited Connectivity” or “No Internet Access” message on a network connection that you can normally access the internet with, you can try to follow the steps below:

-Open a command line as an administrator, as detailed in the beginning of this post.

-For this next part, we are going to try doing something called releasing and renewing your IP address. What this is and how it works is beyond what I will cover in this guide, but it can be a viable troubleshooting step depending on the scenario. To do this, we will first issue the following command without the quotes:

“ipconfig /release”, and then hit [ENTER]

After this command has completed, you will want to issue this command:

“ipconfig /renew”, and then hit [ENTER]

Once the second command has completed, you can try to access the internet with your desired network connection once again. If you are still running into issues at this point, I would recommend disabling and re-enabling your NIC (network interface card).

To do this, you will first want to open a “Run…” window by pressing the [WINDOW] + [R] keys together on your keyboard, typing in “mmc compmgmt.msc” without the quotes, and then hitting [ENTER]. You should see a box popup that looks similar to this:

You will want to navigate to “Device Manager” on the left-hand menu window, and then tick the little arrow symbol next to “Network adapters”:

If you are trying to connect to the internet using WiFi, your network adapter will likely be something similar to the “802.11n Wireless LAN Card” that you see listed within my network adapters. If you are trying to access the internet using an ethernet cable (cord that is physically connected to your computer), then your network adapter will likely be similar to the “Realtek PCIe GBE Family Controller” that you see listed within my network adapters.

You will want to right-click on the appropriate device, and select “Disable”. After this has completed, you will want to right-click the device again, and select “Enable”. This will essentially “restart” your network card without restarting your PC. After completing this, you can connecting to the internet as you normally would.

 

If anything, I hope this guide helps you out in your travels across the internet!

*This guide assumes that your networking hardware (NIC, router, modem, switch, etc.) are all working properly. It would obviously be impossible for me to troubleshoot every possible issue that could come up with literally millions of networking hardware combinations that exist.